Inside the Blaze
by Liz's Dystopia
Summary: After his first battle against Brooklyn, Kai is thrown into a funk and believes he'll never win again. This is a oneshot fic of his thoughts and a little shounenai of Kai and Brooklyn. Hope you like....


**Inside the Blaze**

FD: Okay, I wrote this the moment after I saw the battles between Kai and Brooklyn. There's a little shounen-ai, but it's harmless, and rather cute, but no kissing or anything. It's mostly based from Kai's mind after the battles with Brooklyn. We all knew Kai's main thoughts after his first battle with Brooklyn was that he was thrown into a funk and wouldn't snap out of it. His whole mind was fixed on the battle between them. However, were Kai's real inner thoughts? What was his main emotion of Brooklyn? In addition, why was he so anxious to battle him once more? It's mostly all about his thoughts, so enjoy. It's also a one-shot fic, too, so….

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FD: Okay, so this fic is mostly based on Kai's thoughts. What was he thinking? How did he feel, and so on….

Kay: How cute is this? I mean, Kai is so adorable.

FD: I'm not a major fan of Kai. I'm mostly into Brooklyn or Tala. I'm a red-head fan. Anyways, I hope this fic is somewhat close to what Kai would originally think, besides the shounen-ai. I couldn't resist, I think KaixBrooklyn is so cute!

Kay: Yeah, well, we'll let the readers review it. If you like, review, you don't, oh well. We all know we have different opinions. Please, no flaming, though.

FD: blush

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Inside the Blaze

How could this have happened to me? It was only one battle, yet it feels like it was a war. It was so ruthless, so vicious. I couldn't believe I was defeated. I was drowned inside my own soul. It was horrible. He was the only one able to defeat me. Well, only one besides…him. A faint image comes to my mind's eye, the image of another young boy, a boy with the eyes filled with confidence and excitement. A boy with an attitude full of self-confidence. A boy who would always support me, even when I push him away. For so long, he has defeated me and avoided me, and for once in my life, I want to be the one who stands tall for victory, I want to be the one who defeats him. However, already, my chance has been destroyed and taken away. I can't force it anymore. I'm no longer whom I've forced myself to believe. I'm no longer strong enough to stand on my own two feet.

Thanks to him, my chance for victory has been shot down like a battleship in a war. That's what all of this was now. A war. A former teammate of mine was already in the hospital, unconscious. How far will they go to destroy all that we've accomplished? The faint image of him came to mind. The confident, red haired, blue eyes boy. He was so different from the others. He was almost inhuman. It was so strange. Yet, a weird feeling was inside me. Like I wanted to see him again. I couldn't explain this feeling. It was weird. I should hate him, I should want to never see him again. Yet, it was all different, all opposite. I wanted to see him again, I wanted to battle him again. The way he smiled at me, the way his attacks mimicked mine. It was almost too perfect. He was almost like an angel.

However, that shadow I saw behind him. It frightened me. It was like a demon. It was scary, terrifying. I couldn't believe how frightened I was. Even the voice from the older teen behind me didn't comfort me. I wanted to run away at that moment when I saw it. I wanted to never see it again. Nevertheless, it was horrific. How can I be a man if I'm frightened by that? I'm no longer a man, nor am I a human being. Just a shadow, a nothing, wandering the streets and alleys in a dazed confusion. That was what I was. I can no longer take responsibility and glory for victories that mean nothing. This time, I could no longer be like who I once was.

This being…this stranger named Brooklyn….Who was he? I was warned, not only by others, but also by myself, to not fight him. That he was stronger than any opponent was. However, who was I to say no to a challenge? It was who I was. It was how I fought my battles. It was how I was taught to live. "Face your enemies head on." "Never turn back from a challenge." "Destroy them for complete victory." It was how I was taught, it was how several others and I were taught how to live and survive. "Survival of the fittest," was what they called it. "You lose, you die." Well, I now have died, seeing as how I lost.

For years, I've fought for the right to face him, to defeat him, to regain the title I once had. I fought several times to keep the promise I made to myself. To defeat him and become a great champion. Nevertheless, not only was I shot down in flames, but also it happened twice. Both by him, and by this stranger. Who was this mysterious young man who had this calm and confident demeanor? His style was greater than that I have ever seen. Greater than…even mine, obviously. Possibly even greater than Tyson's. I was the weak link on that team. I was the one who dragged them behind, the one who made them all weak. That was why I left. In addition, I couldn't even get the team I was on to the crown. We were shot down again.

Now, because of my many defeats, I was too weak to stand, too weak to even look into another's eyes. My soul was drowned during that battle. It was drowned, burned, and shattered. It was how it all happened. I had never faced an opponent like that. Once more, I had never felt this way about another like this. It was strange, yet my mind was stuck on him. I couldn't fight it. My mind was so stressed, so torn, not even a bit of serenity could cure me. It was how it all was. It was not mind over matter now. This was all real, it was all forceful. It couldn't even stand on its own, like me. The phoenix inside me, the burning, living hell that lived within me, was affected by me. If I was weak, so was it. If I couldn't stand, neither could it. If I died, so did it. However, unlike it, I could not be reborn in my own ashes. I could not rise from them, and I could not be reborn again.

I touched my face, my eyes staring into nothingness, into the shadows that filled them. I had lost everything since then. I was not wanted anywhere. I was not seen anywhere. No one saw, no one heard me, no one felt me. I was nothing again. I was just as alone as I ever was. So, why was I seeing this just now? In fact, why did I suddenly have the urge to touch his lips? I was acting weird, yet I couldn't deny it. I wanted to see him again. I wanted to see…Brooklyn. It was all that felt real to me now. This emotion, this weird, confusing, tainted emotion. Like as if I liked…no, loved him. What was wrong with me? Was I insane again?

I couldn't go back to them anymore. I couldn't face anyone anymore. They all knew what happened. They, the well-respected, well-fed, well-lived souls of the streets. They wouldn't dare give so much as a glance to someone like me. The mirror that I would look into for my soul had at last shattered from depression and sorrow. I was stuck within the hell I had created, the burning flames surrounded me. I remained here, I was to stay where my soul was born and died. I remain here, inside my depressed and sorrowed thoughts. Without my soul, they were all I had, all that was left of me. I was just an empty, hallow shell of what I once was. In addition, it remains here. Here, inside the blaze.

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FD: So, I don't know how that seems, but I tried. Hope you like it. Anyways, please, if you read this, please send a review. I'm always interested in what the opinions are of my readers.

Kay: Yeah! Oh, and by the way, if you're wondering who I am, I'm a classmate of FD's swim team. I'm not as good as she is, though.

FD: Shush!


End file.
